8 THINGS YOU’LL START TO THINK ABOUT BY THE TIME YOU HIT 30+

You Begin To Watch Your Cholesterol, Like A Samsung Plasma

When you’re between 30 to 45, that is when you understand the true meaning of watching, especially for the ladies. You watch your food, your height, your complexion, your boob size, nail length; haba. But it’s not your fault oh, you’re slowly turning into a garden and you’re the farmer-in-charge! You must watch, weed and water to get a good harvest, abi no be so?

You Start Thinking Of Adopting A New Approach Towards Financial Liberation: 

Now you believe you should start saving bit by bit so you can afford that store by the T-junction. Suddenly, you realize that multiple streams of income is the way. In Olamide’s voice: “Are you a learner???”

Your Parents’ Advice Suddenly Starts To Make Sense 

Like magic, those same things your mom or dad told you while you walked away in anger start to appear like an inspiration from King Solomon himself. You start thinking of starting the business/part-time school, quitting the ‘uselesss’ relationship with your landlord’s son, and even covering up that tasteless tattoo by the side of your left breast.

Your Tastes Increase Even Without An Increase In Your Income. 

You visit meetgist.blogspot.com, and then see a watch on Wizkid’s wrist. You don’t even care to recognize that Wizkid is not your mate, lol, I mean in the financial department. Your “long-throat” for good things just keep skyrocketing. Omo danger lies ahead oh. Because if you don’t sell one of your kidneys, then a family member might lose his “kini” to fund the luxuries you’re not yet financially prepared for. Yepaaaa!

Your Discussion With Friends Take a New Turn: 

Your conversations during a get-together with your friends who are now married will take these funny directions:

(Direction 1):  Your married friends start discussing about their newly single friends which they can hook you up with. Lol.  (Direction 2):  Your married friends make you believe you’re lucky for being single and start coaxing you to tell them a bit about your sexual exploits. The messier the escapades, the more interested they are to hear more. Hehehe.

Your Facebook Wall Gets Covered With Photos Of Your Friends’ Kids

Bathroom selfies, dining pics, peeing selfies, the list goes on. Not that you’re complaining sha, you’re just secretly wondering if you’d be the one having sleepless nights and cleaning all that poop by the time your kids are here too (if you’re single).

The Greatest Thought Of Them All – Marriage

You’ve been dating this great caring angel (or ass) for some months. Actually, many months and he’s still not saying anything concerning the destiny of your ring finger. You begin to wonder if you should ask him if he’s gay! Lol. Please do; if he’s not he may make a move for you. If he is gay, well…too sad. That’s a 14-year jail term in Nigeria.

Dressing Becomes A Problem For Real. 

Like play like play, those clothes for naija wey you like die, starts appearing like child’s play. You don’t want to look too young neither do you want to appear too mature. See trouble!